Honest Friendship

One of the most unexpected results of our miscarriage story has been learning of the other stories of loss that have been carried silently by many of the women (and men) around me. I had no idea what those around me were going through!

You see, one of the first decisions I made after the fog had lifted was was to choose for this story to be a glory story. As much as I wanted to ignore my sad feelings and pretend that life was totally and completely fine, I decided that we could do more than that through our loss. We could use it to bring God glory.

Instead of hiding it in my heart, and covering up my pain, I openly shared our experience over lunch and coffee. When asked by dear friends how my summer was going, I chose to be fully honest, rather than utter the expected pleasantries that we women tend to do when we are hanging out with each other. And in case that wasn’t enough, I decided to blow the lid off this pop stand, and shared it with basically the world and wrote about it on the blog.

And let me tell you, after I stopped freaking out about telling people what was REALLY going on in my life, it was liberating!

But what was even MORE surprising, was how I learned that I was not alone. Continue reading

Our Little Life: How I Saw God In Miscarriage (Post 2)

This is the second of two posts I have written about the miscarriage we experienced back in July. If there’s one thing that this heartbreak has shown me, it’s that my faith in Christ is something that will always sustain me. I hope you’ll find hope in this truth, too.

And if you think I’m cray, thanks for not telling it to my face. I like to pretend everyone always likes what I have to say…

Miscarriage feels like a cruel joke. At least that’s how I would describe it. You go from excitement to heartbreak. From joy to loss. From growing life to losing life. It’s basically a horrible oxymoron of a life experience.

And the week it was happening to us, I cried out to God so many times to tell me WHY. Why does He make life just to take it? Why do we have to be going through this? Why? Why? Why?

I mean, doesn’t Jesus love the little children?!

But even if we don’t get to know the why behind our pain, we do get to know the One who heals it. And He was with me every. step. of. the. way.

Continue reading

Our Little Life: Experiencing Miscarriage (Post 1)

Recently in another post of (over?)sharing  I admitted that Daniel and I had been walking in the world of God’s timing for starting a family since we had lost our luggage, and our only form of birth control, on our way to the Grecian finale of our Euro tour back in May.  So you can imagine my shock when a single cycle into our family planning journey, a second faint line began appearing on one (of the twenty-pack!) of the cheapo pregnancy tests I had bought on Amazon.

Have I said I love Amazon Prime?!

I might also mention that in order to take said test, I had snuck into our second bathroom before six AM and before I had any reason, or viable symptom, to suspect pregnancy. Per usual, I was trying to not explain my crazy to my husband.  Well, mission failed…

So with hands shaking, I immediately woke Dan up from a dead sleep and showed him the evidence that our lives were about to change.  Talk about a wake-up call! Convinced that the test’s price tag was responsible for its overzealous representation of a positive test, I ran downstairs to the Walgreens on the corner and was able to confirm the news with a top-shelf First Response that we were officially “expecting”. Continue reading